25.6.09
Laundr-O-Mat
Everyone has been to one. You know what it’s like. It’s like waiting in waiting in line at Wal-Mart. No one dares to make eye contact, you just mind your own business. Or better yet, it’s like waiting outside of the principals’ office, because when you’re at the Laundromat you feel like you are not nearly as good as the world you came from. You don’t even have your own washer and dryer. Hell, you don’t even have a friend with a washer and dryer. So, instead, you drive somewhere and pay a big, silver machine to hold your hand, or make fun of you; of whatever it is you happen to be feeling on laundry day. The few hours you spend there, staring at the wood-paneled walls, obliquely connects with your mind so that you can remember being to the Laundromat, but you can’t remember a thing about it. It’s like trying to remember something distinguishing about Grand Forks, ND, or Winnipeg. You remember being there, but if someone asked you what it was like, you’d just shrug your shoulders and say I guess it was like a regular town….
23.6.09
Cover of Independence Day by Ani DiFranco
Although this song is hardly specific to July 4th, I thought that it would be appropriate seeing as Independence day is nearby. I can't relate especially to the tune, though I really love the sounds of it. I hope you like it! It's from the album, Little Plastic Castle by Ani DiFranco
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp
on the 4th of july
we sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks
explode in the sky
and there was an exodus of birds from the trees
but they didnt know, we were only pretending
and the people all looked up, and were pleased
and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending
and i don't think war is noble
and i don't like to think that love is like war
and i gotta big hot cherry bomb, and i want to slip it through the mail slot
of your front door
don't leave me here
i've got your back now
you'd better have mine
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free
don't leave me here
now that your back
you'd better stay this time
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp,
on the 4th of july
and i planted my dusty boots on the bumper and sat out on the hood,
and looked up at the sky
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp
on the 4th of july
we sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks
explode in the sky
and there was an exodus of birds from the trees
but they didnt know, we were only pretending
and the people all looked up, and were pleased
and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending
and i don't think war is noble
and i don't like to think that love is like war
and i gotta big hot cherry bomb, and i want to slip it through the mail slot
of your front door
don't leave me here
i've got your back now
you'd better have mine
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free
don't leave me here
now that your back
you'd better stay this time
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp,
on the 4th of july
and i planted my dusty boots on the bumper and sat out on the hood,
and looked up at the sky
13.6.09
Helicopter!
I’ve never flown a helicopter and really, really doubt that I ever will. I’ve always been under the impression, through snippets of sporadic conversation, that helicopters are difficult to fly. It seems that there are so many things to control at once. Earlier this semester, during speech class, I wrote in my notebook; ‘Flying a helicopter is like being in your kitchen and operating the stove, refrigerator, toaster and microwave all at once’. Then, I found this:
“The first time I ever flew a helicopter I thought to God I was trying to stir a cake.
The second time I flew a helicopter I was convinced I was stirring a cake. The helicopter seemed to have a mind of its own because no matter what you did on the controls it took a helicopter about a second and a quarter to make up its mind that your command on the controls is what you really wanted. This is called a time the lag common to all helicopters. You don't know how long a second and quarter is until you've flown a helicopter.”
-John Angus Carter
So now I think that flying a helicopter is like being in your kitchen and operating the stove, refrigerator, toaster, microwave, and baking a cake at the same time.
“The first time I ever flew a helicopter I thought to God I was trying to stir a cake.
The second time I flew a helicopter I was convinced I was stirring a cake. The helicopter seemed to have a mind of its own because no matter what you did on the controls it took a helicopter about a second and a quarter to make up its mind that your command on the controls is what you really wanted. This is called a time the lag common to all helicopters. You don't know how long a second and quarter is until you've flown a helicopter.”
-John Angus Carter
So now I think that flying a helicopter is like being in your kitchen and operating the stove, refrigerator, toaster, microwave, and baking a cake at the same time.
7.6.09
A Speech About a Guy(100th post!)
“We’d never know how high we are,
Until we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Out structures touch the sky-”
-Emily Dickinson
I was on the balcony level and a small display, tucked into one small corner, caught my attention. There was a white capsule big enough for one person there, a gondola once connected to a helium balloon that reached the heavens. I was at the Wright-Patterson AFB near Dayton, OH in the base museum and I was looking at the exhibit that celebrated the efforts of Col. Joseph Kittinger and the crew of Project Excelsior. It was a little known AF mission that extended human limitations and pushed the very boundaries of our sky. In an effort to record the effects of high altitude on the human body, project excelsior’s helium balloons lifted Joe Kittinger to enormous heights, whereupon he jumped from his craft, freefalling and then parachuting back to the earth. These acts of skydiving shattered all skydiving records and remain today, nearly 50 years later, as truly remarkable efforts that are unsurpassed. Kittinger is even considered, by some, to be the first man in space.
Joe Kittinger was a Colonel in the U.S. Air Force. Though his military career began in 1950, he wasn’t involved in high altitude testing until 1957 when, as a part of operation Man High, he set an interim balloon record of 96,760ft, for which he was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross medal.
Shortly after the completion of operation Man High, Kittinger was assigned to Project Excelsior, a series of 3 high altitude parachute jumps that challenged his body’s ability to withstand physical forces never experienced by any other man. The purpose of these jumps was to develop systems that could ensure the survival of a pilot in the event of a high altitude ejection from an aircraft. On each of the high altitude jumps Kittinger was outfitted with a pressure suit that weighed twice as much as he did to protect him the ultra thin atmosphere and staggeringly low temperatures. The merciless high altitude environment was fierce enough kill an unprotected man instantly.
Kittinger’s first jump, in 1959, was from 76,400ft above the earth, about 8 miles into the stratosphere.
This first jump wasn’t a successful one. Because of an entanglement with his parachute rigging, Kittinger’s body went into a flat spin, spiraling uncontrollably at 120rpm causing him to lose consciousness. The spin created g-forces 22 times that of gravity at his extremities, thereby unintentionally setting records. If not for an automatic opening of his backup parachute at 10,000ft, he would have certainly fallen to his death.
Despite near tragedy with the first, Kittinger went ahead with another high altitude jump less than a month later at the same height. This time setting a freefall record of 55,000ft before pulling the ripcord for his parachute.
Eight months later, in 1960, Kittinger and the crew of Project Excelsior performed their third and most remarkable test. Excelsior III was to be the final word on high altitude survival. However, while ascending in the gondola, Kittinger discovered a problem with the glove on his right hand. It wasn’t pressurizing due to a small leak. With no pressure on his right hand, it pooled with blood and swelled to twice it’s normal size. Though extremely painful and causing him to temporarily lose use of said hand, he continued on with the mission without notifying his ground crew for fear of the mission being called off. Then, after 1 hour and 31 minutes, Excelsior III reached it’s maximum altitude, far above the reach of clouds, and Kittinger vaulted himself into the darkness of space.
He said he had ‘no sensation of falling’. This was because he was in a place where scarcely any air existed to create a whistling of wind or a rustling of fabric. When he jumped from the gondola, Kittinger thought he was suspended in space. It was only when he turned, freefalling with his back towards earth and watching the gondola rapidly disappear from view, that he realized he was surely falling. He fell at a top speed of 614mph, breaking the sound barrier and he experienced temperatures as low as -94 degrees F.
At nearly 20 miles above the earth, 102,800ft, Col. Joseph Kittinger broke all previous manned balloon records and set skydiving records that remain unbroken today. He kissed the very edge of our atmosphere, he touched space.
The most remarkable thing about it: Kittinger and the crew of Project Excelsior never set out to break any records. After deploying his parachute at 18,000ft and safely returning to earth, Kittinger and the ground crew simply packed up their gear and returned to their offices with the information they had gathered. What they had accomplished was for the sake of research, it was for the sake of bettering aeronautics technology. The members of Project Excelsior had performed astounding tasks without the presence of a limelight, receiving little more than a pat on the back. The members of Project Excelsior had merely done their jobs; they had achieved greatness whilst doing their jobs.
So there you have it. Joseph Kittinger; an all American hero, if you will, who was given an opportunity to do something absurd and made it absolutely conceivable. An AF Colnel who, one day, went to the edge of the known world and came back with a big stupid grin on his face. A man who, upon finding himself in the most lonely of places; jumped.
I will leave you with this, from Jalaluddin Rumi, who says:
“This is love:
To fly toward a secret sky,
To cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First, to let go of life.
Finally, to take a step without feet.”
Until we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Out structures touch the sky-”
-Emily Dickinson
I was on the balcony level and a small display, tucked into one small corner, caught my attention. There was a white capsule big enough for one person there, a gondola once connected to a helium balloon that reached the heavens. I was at the Wright-Patterson AFB near Dayton, OH in the base museum and I was looking at the exhibit that celebrated the efforts of Col. Joseph Kittinger and the crew of Project Excelsior. It was a little known AF mission that extended human limitations and pushed the very boundaries of our sky. In an effort to record the effects of high altitude on the human body, project excelsior’s helium balloons lifted Joe Kittinger to enormous heights, whereupon he jumped from his craft, freefalling and then parachuting back to the earth. These acts of skydiving shattered all skydiving records and remain today, nearly 50 years later, as truly remarkable efforts that are unsurpassed. Kittinger is even considered, by some, to be the first man in space.
Joe Kittinger was a Colonel in the U.S. Air Force. Though his military career began in 1950, he wasn’t involved in high altitude testing until 1957 when, as a part of operation Man High, he set an interim balloon record of 96,760ft, for which he was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross medal.
Shortly after the completion of operation Man High, Kittinger was assigned to Project Excelsior, a series of 3 high altitude parachute jumps that challenged his body’s ability to withstand physical forces never experienced by any other man. The purpose of these jumps was to develop systems that could ensure the survival of a pilot in the event of a high altitude ejection from an aircraft. On each of the high altitude jumps Kittinger was outfitted with a pressure suit that weighed twice as much as he did to protect him the ultra thin atmosphere and staggeringly low temperatures. The merciless high altitude environment was fierce enough kill an unprotected man instantly.
Kittinger’s first jump, in 1959, was from 76,400ft above the earth, about 8 miles into the stratosphere.
This first jump wasn’t a successful one. Because of an entanglement with his parachute rigging, Kittinger’s body went into a flat spin, spiraling uncontrollably at 120rpm causing him to lose consciousness. The spin created g-forces 22 times that of gravity at his extremities, thereby unintentionally setting records. If not for an automatic opening of his backup parachute at 10,000ft, he would have certainly fallen to his death.
Despite near tragedy with the first, Kittinger went ahead with another high altitude jump less than a month later at the same height. This time setting a freefall record of 55,000ft before pulling the ripcord for his parachute.
Eight months later, in 1960, Kittinger and the crew of Project Excelsior performed their third and most remarkable test. Excelsior III was to be the final word on high altitude survival. However, while ascending in the gondola, Kittinger discovered a problem with the glove on his right hand. It wasn’t pressurizing due to a small leak. With no pressure on his right hand, it pooled with blood and swelled to twice it’s normal size. Though extremely painful and causing him to temporarily lose use of said hand, he continued on with the mission without notifying his ground crew for fear of the mission being called off. Then, after 1 hour and 31 minutes, Excelsior III reached it’s maximum altitude, far above the reach of clouds, and Kittinger vaulted himself into the darkness of space.
He said he had ‘no sensation of falling’. This was because he was in a place where scarcely any air existed to create a whistling of wind or a rustling of fabric. When he jumped from the gondola, Kittinger thought he was suspended in space. It was only when he turned, freefalling with his back towards earth and watching the gondola rapidly disappear from view, that he realized he was surely falling. He fell at a top speed of 614mph, breaking the sound barrier and he experienced temperatures as low as -94 degrees F.
At nearly 20 miles above the earth, 102,800ft, Col. Joseph Kittinger broke all previous manned balloon records and set skydiving records that remain unbroken today. He kissed the very edge of our atmosphere, he touched space.
The most remarkable thing about it: Kittinger and the crew of Project Excelsior never set out to break any records. After deploying his parachute at 18,000ft and safely returning to earth, Kittinger and the ground crew simply packed up their gear and returned to their offices with the information they had gathered. What they had accomplished was for the sake of research, it was for the sake of bettering aeronautics technology. The members of Project Excelsior had performed astounding tasks without the presence of a limelight, receiving little more than a pat on the back. The members of Project Excelsior had merely done their jobs; they had achieved greatness whilst doing their jobs.
So there you have it. Joseph Kittinger; an all American hero, if you will, who was given an opportunity to do something absurd and made it absolutely conceivable. An AF Colnel who, one day, went to the edge of the known world and came back with a big stupid grin on his face. A man who, upon finding himself in the most lonely of places; jumped.
I will leave you with this, from Jalaluddin Rumi, who says:
“This is love:
To fly toward a secret sky,
To cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First, to let go of life.
Finally, to take a step without feet.”
4.6.09
I Love Your Hair, Guy.
This is painted on a bridge that I traverse on frequent bike excursions.(click for bigger)
Missing hands and feet. Check
Invisible bicycle. Check
Whitewall tires. Check
Kickass hairdo. Check
This guy is a hipster extraordinaire.
All he is missing is some neon sunglasses and a PBR tallboy.
Upon closer inspection I realize this is more than some average Minneapolis hipster.
There is only one man I know that can pull off a hairdo like that.
It’s our founding father! Georgie Washington
I’ve created this mock-up to demonstrate my point and reveal the true George Washington to the world!
Thank God for my fine abilities in MSPaint.
Missing hands and feet. Check
Invisible bicycle. Check
Whitewall tires. Check
Kickass hairdo. Check
This guy is a hipster extraordinaire.
All he is missing is some neon sunglasses and a PBR tallboy.
Upon closer inspection I realize this is more than some average Minneapolis hipster.
There is only one man I know that can pull off a hairdo like that.
It’s our founding father! Georgie Washington
I’ve created this mock-up to demonstrate my point and reveal the true George Washington to the world!
Thank God for my fine abilities in MSPaint.
2.6.09
Just a Song to Share
This is called "The Ballad of Love and Hate" and it's originally by the Avett Brothers. I like it and hope you like it too.
Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.
My vacations ending. I'm coming home late.
The weather was fine and the ocean was great
and I can't wait to see you again.
Hate reads the letter and throws it away.
"No one here cares if you go or you stay.
I barely even noticed that you were away.
I'll see you or I won't, whatever."
Love sings a song as she sails through the sky.
The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes.
And everyone knows it whenever she flies,
and also when she comes down.
Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street.
Every stranger and drifter he greets.
And shakes hands with every loner he meets
with a serious look on his face.
Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow.
Carrying with her the good things we know.
A reason to live and a reason to grow.
To trust. To hope. To care.
Hate sits alone on the hood of his car.
Without much regard to the moon or the stars.
Lazily killing the last of a jar
of the strongest stuff you can drink.
Love takes a taxi, a young man drives.
As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes.
But tears follow after, at the end of the ride,
cause he might never see her again.
Hate gets home lucky to still be alive.
He screams o'er the sidewalk and into the drive.
The clock in the kitchen says 2:55,
And the clock in the kitchen is slow.
Love has been waiting, patient and kind.
Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign,
That the one that she cares for, who's out of his mind,
Will make it back safe to her arms.
Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door.
Weary head hung, eyes to the floor.
He says "Love, I'm sorry", and she says, "What for?
I'm your and that's it, Whatever.
I should not have been gone for so long.
I'm your's and that's it, forever."
You're mine and that's it, forever.
Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.
My vacations ending. I'm coming home late.
The weather was fine and the ocean was great
and I can't wait to see you again.
Hate reads the letter and throws it away.
"No one here cares if you go or you stay.
I barely even noticed that you were away.
I'll see you or I won't, whatever."
Love sings a song as she sails through the sky.
The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes.
And everyone knows it whenever she flies,
and also when she comes down.
Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street.
Every stranger and drifter he greets.
And shakes hands with every loner he meets
with a serious look on his face.
Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow.
Carrying with her the good things we know.
A reason to live and a reason to grow.
To trust. To hope. To care.
Hate sits alone on the hood of his car.
Without much regard to the moon or the stars.
Lazily killing the last of a jar
of the strongest stuff you can drink.
Love takes a taxi, a young man drives.
As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes.
But tears follow after, at the end of the ride,
cause he might never see her again.
Hate gets home lucky to still be alive.
He screams o'er the sidewalk and into the drive.
The clock in the kitchen says 2:55,
And the clock in the kitchen is slow.
Love has been waiting, patient and kind.
Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign,
That the one that she cares for, who's out of his mind,
Will make it back safe to her arms.
Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door.
Weary head hung, eyes to the floor.
He says "Love, I'm sorry", and she says, "What for?
I'm your and that's it, Whatever.
I should not have been gone for so long.
I'm your's and that's it, forever."
You're mine and that's it, forever.
1.6.09
Your mouth is open Dude. Dude, your mouth is open.
Seriously. Your mouth is still open.
Are you about to say something? No.
Does having your mouth open make you a better driver? No.
Are you taking a bite out of a big sandwich? No.
Why, oh why is your mouth always open!? Is your nose plugged?
Maybe your jaw is too heavy for your face.
What if I just give it a boost with my hand?
Oh, I’m sorry, is shutting your mouth for you with my hand inappropriate?
Yes, I guess it is.
But, the open mouth makes you look stupid.
No, not at all. I’m sure you’re a very intelligent individual.
Still though, it looks dumb.
I mean, it’s gotta dry out in there, right? Are you over-hydrated?
Attempting to shed excess body temperature like a dog?
Seriously dude, your mouth is still open.
You probably don’t even know.
I want to walk up to you and say “Hey man, your mouth is open”.
Because, um. It’s open.
And it doesn’t need to be open.
A bug could fly in there.
Did you ever read “There Was an Old Lady That Swallowed a Fly”?
Yes, I know it’s a children’s book, but still, it could happen.
The book says they “don’t know why she swallowed the fly”.
But I know that she swallowed it because her mouth was always open.
And now she’s dead because she swallowed the horse.
So….go ahead and close it.
Go ahead, it’s okay. You’ll still be able to breathe, and drive.
Seriously man, your mouth is still open.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
