My Favorite Apple

Today a frigid wind faced me, I walked methodically from the library back to the store. My lunch break was drawing to a close, I kept my head down, I was eating a braeburn apple. I thought of apples, good ones anyway, and what it is exactly that makes them good. There’s something about biting into one and pulling a perfect scale of apple skin and fruit into your mouth, those pieces that don’t fit the contour of your teeth, that are wider than you think. It’s as if it was sliced off with a gold-brown pocket knife as you’re sitting in a stubble field leaning up against the truck or a round bale. A good apple isn’t carved, it’s broken and split into mouth sized pieces, a good apple is taken apart and, as it is, it makes music.
Yesterday she asked what kind of apple I was eating, “It’s a braeburn” admitted like an old habit.
“Honeycrisps are better”
“yes, I know, honeycrisps are my favorite”
…
She brought me a honeycrisp today, she defied my belief that they were out of season, she defied my make-believe misgivings. So that now I’ve changed my mind,…Turns out Honeycrisps aren’t my favorite apple. No, you; you are my favorite apple.

20 Questions About Bathrooms: Question #16

16. Did you know that my mom has a Jacuzzi?

Toilet. It’s a Jacuzzi brand toilet! Can you believe that!? Now the thought of washing your feet in the commode doesn’t seem like such a dumb idea, does it? It has excellent whirling action, by the way.

February Is Haunting Me

Do you remember what February did
I do
February hurt me

I talked to February
Last year
I said
“I want closeness
I want somebody close
Not just anyone
I want one person to trust
And hold
I want skin on skin contact
I want to hold someone
I want a reason
Reason in the shit”

Because it hurt me
February hurt me

It came back this year
It put hooks in me and now hangs
From my skin
February says nothing to me
February cares not
February spells c-a-r-e with a K
And ends it with ills

Can you replace February, Love?
I hate to even ask
But I need care
From you
No one else
Not February
You

I Want To Enjoy It; But I Can’t.

Prayer. Meditation. The new bother of my day. I’ve always wanted to thoroughly enjoy praying like some people seem to when they talk about it. Truth is, I can hardly remember praying and enjoying it. During hokey prayer circles I’m doing my best to curb my fidgeting and I’m usually daydreaming about something far away from prayer. Then, I just feel guilty about it. Jesus taught his disciples to pray by giving them the Lord’s prayer and I have a hard time using that as a model because it’s so broad. So here I am, committed to praying every morning for a long 15min. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to enjoy prayer times; it’s something that I feel has eluded me for most of my life.