I drove one!(Imagining simultaneous boos and cheers) It wasn’t across a mere parking lot either, it was hundreds and hundreds of miles down Interstate 35 on my way towards We-bathe-in-oil-’round-here-Oklahoma. So I am hereby submitting this as my official 2008 Toyota Prius review.
The oil derricks we passed in Kansas and Oklahoma had a sort of hidden malice about them and most of them laughed as we drove past. At first I thought this was because we were achieving around 45 MPGs and we were stickin‘ it to them, but really those derricks were laughing because a Toyota Prius looks so damn stupid! What the hell was thing modeled after!? Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters trapped underneath a giant bowl!? Yes, that’s it….a giant wheeled bowl with ugly stepsisters; I knew I had seen it somewhere before.
Every time I walk up to the car I want to reprimand it and send it away like the neighbor’s homely dog. “No! Bad! Go home! ….You’re Bad!”. I truly dislike everything about the car’s exterior, from the way-bigger-than-ever-necessary clear taillights to the poorly thought out rims. It’s exoskeleton is everything a car shouldn’t be, it’s styling is reminiscent of futuristic thinking. It’s not the cool futuristic thinking that we all find so rad, like being aboard the Starship Enterprise or riding our Hoverboard with Marty McFly. No, it’s more like the futuristic styling from RoboCop….totally dumb. Unfortunately, The Toyota Prius takes no cues from the wonderful world of automobilia. But why am I wasting my time telling you this? It’s common knowledge for most of you, unless your blind; or an NPR supporter.
The first thing I noticed when I plopped into the drivers’ seat was the visibility. I can’t say that it’s necessarily bad, I can say, however, that I don’t like it. There are windows everywhere, none of which offer a good view of the world that you are supposedly saving. There is a rearview camera that activates automatically when reverse is engaged due to the poor visibility in back. The Prius has the dorkiest A and C pillar windows that I have ever seen. Little glass triangles on all four corners of the car that do….nothing. As worthless as a tits on a screen door…oh wait, I mean as worthless as a boar on a submarine,…yeah, that’s better.
1 comment:
Aside from being a pug fugly car, it gets no better highway mileage than our diesel bug.
On the plus side, I suppose I'd get to be more smug if I drove one... I can't wait to get one!
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