Top Tens

My top ten reasons to die young
10. Poor 401k planning is a non-issue
9. Won’t ever have to make the bed again
8. You probably died because of a freak thing,….exciting!
7. You won’t know the meaning of the words catheter tube, or enema bag.
6. Getting answers to important spiritual questions early!
5. You won’t have to watch your best friend die…
4. You’re done working, forever
3. You don’t leave anyone behind(provided you aren’t married and don’t have kids)
2. Young deaths leave a legacy
1. To die is to gain

My top ten reasons to die old
10. Grandkids
9. You had the chance to be “…that creepy old guy that tells all those stories”.
8. Most people aren’t too troubled when you bite it.
7. You get buried in a suit!
6. If you didn’t get to do something in life that you wanted, it’s your own fault.
5. Chances are you’ll see death coming
4. Friends and family tell you how great you are before you go.
3. You can look back on your life and think, “hmmm…”
2. People listen to the stupid stuff you say while you’re minutes away from croaking.
1. Maybe it all makes sense in this moment, when you are making your way towards home, passing all the people you’ve built because others like them built you, maybe something clicks as you look in each of their wet eyes, something that makes you sigh, ‘I understand‘. Maybe it’s this time that all the madness that is life comes together and makes an unusual and wondrous piece of music that is your exit, your postlude.