The Panty Hose Trick

About a month ago, the on site laundry at my apartment building went from a cost of $1.00 to $2.00. After my initial complaining, a friend told me about the panty hose trick. Supposedly you should be able to trick the quarter vending mechanism by first putting all of your quarters into a portion of panty hose. When you push the slider in, the machine starts and you are then able to extract your money via the panty hose.

First problem: I don’t have any panty hose.
After asking several friends for some with no luck, I frantically grabbed a box of them while dashing through the women’s intimates section of Target. $3.49. Oh man, these better save me some serious money. I risked my life and reputation for it.

Second problem: It doesn’t work.
At the outset, I tried sticking the 8 quarters into their respective slots all while contained in a panty hose leg. This is very difficult! Then, after jamming the machine almost beyond repair, I was barely able to salvage my quarters AND my new panty hose. I was creating all kinds of racket in the laundry room and now my panty hose had dozens of little holes in it. I didn’t give up, I tried and tried again, only to find myself successful at jamming the machine, pinned in the land between a clothes wash and getting my 8 quarters back. Finally, while attempting to keep only two quarters in the hose I was able to push the plunger all the way in, starting the wash cycle. I was elated, while pulling the plunger back out, to find one of my quarters still remained! I only had to pay $1.75 for my wash!!! Suckers!!! 20 min of aggravating work and $3.49 worth of panty hose will get you a 12.5% discount on your wash. How Wonderful!