4 Litle Things That Drive Me Batty

1. Hair stuck to my soap: I realize I've been talking about soap far too much lately, however I want to say that having little hairs plastered to my soap drives me batty. Sometimes I spend more time in the shower trying to remove the hairs from my Zest bar than I do cleaning my bod. It's just so gross to pick up a hairy bar of soap.

2. Tube Tops: I really do not understand these things. They always looks so stupid and uncomfortable. I get strapless dresses, they look fantastic! Tube tops though,....uck! They drive me batty! They are just a tube of fabric that offers a whole lot of nothing, it's like shrink wrap for a woman's torso.

3. Fat People in those collapsible camping chairs: I usually see this prior to parades or outdoor concerts when folks are nabbing a prime piece of real estate to watch something great. Turns out I'm probably way out of line on this one, but it seems to me that it's so typical and it drives me batty! The ones that bother to come early and set up chairs are the fat ones. Arduously overflowing from the sides of their red Coleman chair which is straining to keep everything together....poor chair.

4. Anytime that an emcee or announcer has to use a piece of paper to address an audience: Look, if you have the balls to speak publicly at least have the courtesy to talk to your audience. I'm not suggesting that public speakers should memorize everything that they want to say. I am suggesting, on the other hand, that if I see another public speaker with his head in some piece paper, reading directly from it, I....I....well, I can't say what drastic things I may do. Probably just sit there quietly, angrily judging him and his poor speaking skills....all while being driven batty.

Thanks For Securing My Bathing Future

Shortly after my recent question about washcloths, two friends informed me that they also do not use a washcloth and instead favor the good ol' bar of soap. Though I suspect, if given the opportunity, they would cast aside the bar of soap if a soap-on-a-rope was available. I can't really fault them for this,...I mean, really. Who doesn't like soap-on-a-rope?

*no title*

Don’t you dare spread my ashes; don’t you dare. Please, please pour them into a small pile in a small place far from most folks. Pour me out in the tundra next to the lichens or pour me into a hole in the backyard and cover me with the softest and darkest dirt. Then, maybe after a few years plant a sumac or willow in that spot, just so we can all forget it as the place where my sintered body lay and enjoy it as the deep red sumac in the fall or the bounding and swaying willow tree.

20 Questions About Bathrooms: Question #5

5. Is the fact that I never use washcloths weird, or are there others out there?

I realize that I’m probably in the minority on this one, however I can’t bring myself to use a washcloth in the shower and think it’s efficient. Just give me a bar of soap. Oh, wait. Upon further consideration of the subject, it seems to me that maybe women use the wash cloths when they shave their legs,…gosh, now I’m all confused. Are the washcloths used primarily for shaving?? To find out I plan on showering with a woman,……in the near future,…..it’s for the sake of science

The Infrared Life

I have to wear an Arc Flash #2 compliant shirt; it's a large so it doesn't fit very well. I saunter around the AFB Hospital building going from electrical room to mechanical room to electrical room pushing carts with important looking equipment on it. When I walk past the orderlies, doctors, or secretaries in places that I surely don't belong, they look at me and then quickly look away because they are somehow assured that I know what I'm doing and that I'm supposed to be there.
We've nicknamed our Motel the 'Notel'. It appears that we are almost the only ones staying in a Motel with more than a hundred rooms. If you're in Dayton, OH stop by....please please stop by.

Katy and Tracy, You Will Remember This...

The First Pole

I’ll race you to the first pole
Don’t go past the first pole
Wait for me at the first pole
Farther than the first pole
The first one to the first pole
As far as the first pole
Whoever touches the first pole

First Pole I nearly forgot about you

2762 miles

59:23 hours in the car
9 tanks of gasoline
1 peanut butter and jelly sandwich
5 Great Lakes
2762 miles driven
3 free campsites
1 speeding ticket

add all of that up and you get 2840:23! and that number means absolutely nothing!!!!

here's a quick rundown of my opinions on each of the Great Lakes:
Superior; clean, refreshing, scenic, cold
Ontario; jerkfaced, unloved, cold
Erie; Spa lake, looked like it had milk in it, friendly beaches, cold
Huron; icky icky bottom, welcoming to canines, cold
Michigan; blue, charming, popular, WARM! no, wait, that one was cold too.